October 8, 2013
What your datastore says about you
Disclaimer: Do I even need a disclaimer? Chill out dudes, don’t get all bent.
- Sqlite: My boss won’t let me use flat files.
- MySQL: There are other databases?
- PostgreSQL: MySQL sucks!
- Oracle: Our Oracle install has kept me employed for the past 20 years!
- SQL Server: It’s the only database I’m certified to use.
- MongoDB: We haven’t picked a database yet.
- RethinkDB: Mongodb sucks! Also, I believe in unicorns.
- Cassandra: The project guarantees eventual stability.
- Voldemort: You’ve probably never heard of it.
- Redis: Our devs didn’t want to maintain memcached and postgres.
- Datomic: Clojure! Rich Hickey! <Indecipherable Gibberish>
- Riak: MapReduce is the future. Seriously.
- HBase: Cassandra? Never heard of it.
- Kyoto Cabinet: Real men use C++.
- Jun 19, 2013: You use PHP because you don't know better.