October 8, 2013

What your datastore says about you

Disclaimer: Do I even need a disclaimer? Chill out dudes, don’t get all bent.

  • Sqlite: My boss won’t let me use flat files.
  • MySQL: There are other databases?
  • PostgreSQL: MySQL sucks!
  • Oracle: Our Oracle install has kept me employed for the past 20 years!
  • SQL Server: It’s the only database I’m certified to use.
  • MongoDB: We haven’t picked a database yet.
  • RethinkDB: Mongodb sucks! Also, I believe in unicorns.
  • Cassandra: The project guarantees eventual stability.
  • Voldemort: You’ve probably never heard of it.
  • Redis: Our devs didn’t want to maintain memcached and postgres.
  • Datomic: Clojure! Rich Hickey! <Indecipherable Gibberish>
  • Riak: MapReduce is the future. Seriously.
  • HBase: Cassandra? Never heard of it.
  • Kyoto Cabinet: Real men use C++.